Respect is a word that in practice is almost gone from today’s world. We have just ‘celebrated’ Memorial Day in which we showed our respect for those who fought and died for the freedoms we enjoy. In two weeks, we will celebrate Father’s Day. Our fathers need care and respect as much as the rest of those we may be caring for today. Gifts for Father’s Day? How about quality time; a shared cup of coffee watching the sunrise or set, or maybe just a couple of hours to sit and listen to stories you may or may not have heard many times before. Respect for God, the Creator, and time spent with our fathers, His Creation, will never be time wasted. Build memories while you can. For those whose time has run out, consider ways to help other caregivers on their journey. Remember showing love and respect to our loved ones is a privilege not a chore!
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As I have talked with people this month, a common question keeps coming up. “My father (or mother) should not be living alone anymore, but they won’t move. What should I do?”
My answer is as follows:
1. PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY some more! Pray for their heart to change or for your heart to change.
2. Understand, it is their decision unless they are suffering from Dementia and are a true danger to themselves.
3. Turn the demand for them to move, into how much it would help you if he (or she) would consider moving in or near you. Ask them to list the pros and cons and you do the same. You, especially, need to list how this would help you and your family. Then let them know it is ultimately their decision and you will abide by their choice.
4. Do not argue with them.
5. Give them time to contemplate your pros and cons.
Many times if your loved one understands how much they would be helping you, they will make the choice to move. However, you must respect their wishes whether or not they decide to move!